Cheap and Cheerless: tackling a 57-hour bus journey

Taking the cheapest way from Banff to Toronto, whilst breaking my own personal record on the amount of time on a bus, seemed like an ok idea and very cost-effective at only ~$200. The train wasn’t running when I needed it to, and the flight was going to be $322, plus $18 fare for a bus to Calgary. $140 is a lot when you’re trying to make your money stretch out, and as I didn’t have any deadline to get anywhere, I traded time for money and went with the Greyhound. That alone was a tough decision, after they lost my bag last time…but they’ve pretty much got the route locked down, so no other operators had an equivalent journey for me to take.

So the bus was definitely the right choice this time. I was convinced. But you can’t be right all of the time.

I wrote the odd fragmented note into a draft on Evernote, one of the apps that I recommend for travel when you’re not sure if you’re going to have an internet connection the whole time.

6hrs in

This isn’t so bad.

9hrs in

I’m snoozing a lot. I’m doing a pretty good impression of a nodding dog. Or was, up until I executed a perfect headbutt onto the edge of my MacBook. I’m awake now, with a deep red line on my forehead… I am quite awake now, a throbbing head will do that. Need coffee.

12hrs in

Is this a dream or am I still awake? Weird twilight in Sasketchewan doesn’t help – flat prairie could just be my mind running out of ideas in my dream. A single tree on an endless plain? Come on, that’s gotta be fake. “Kzzzzrt” the bus driver’s voice crackles onto the overhead speakers. No way…this is real?! That sky is blatantly photoshopped…

16hrs in

Ow wow. I need some fruit. My stash was NOT big enough, but I’m damned if I’m having a Timmy’s for breakfast. I found some bags of nuts at the services. Pretty salty, but at least they’re whole foods.

24hrs in

Couldn’t wait any longer. The serial gum chewing wasn’t cutting it. Brushing my teeth at a bus depot; new personal low. I both look and smell like I’ve been camping. In a bin.

36hrs in

If there’s an airport in the next town, I’m getting a plane to Toronto. Screw this. No come on, you’ve come this far. It’s just a bit of sleep deprivation kicking in, you’re fine. You’re right. Who said that?

40hrs in

Why isn’t my phone charging? What?! The power’s broken?? Damnit Greyhound! At least I got to sort through some older photos before the power went out. My primary form of entertainment currently is writing on Facebook about how terrible bus travel is.

48hrs in

So close… Need caffeine if I’m going to salvage my sleep pattern here. Day and night are becoming meaningless terms. Coffee and a greasy McDonald’s bagel is in order – healthy eating be damned. I NEED comfort food.

52hrs in

I’m going to have to burn these clothes…

56hrs in

I’m in Toronto! I walked up and down some streets unnecessarily for a while as I was phone less by the time I got here; battery flat by now obviously. Thanks Greyhound… So this is actually on my laptop when I arrived.

I need to get some sleep and a proper meal. Or, you know. Go on a bar crawl with some new friends I just met at the place I’m staying. That’s a tough one…